Time for a rousing game of...

What is in Michael Bolton's mouth?

At least they use their brains for something

I am often amazed at how much brain power students will put into getting out of doing work, when it would take way less to just do it. Here's a true story.

I have a student whose some what of a drama queen. He (that's right, he) finds any excuse he can to get sent to the clinic so he can get out of class. It's to the point where unless he has a fever, he's not allowed to go to the clinic. Well, that wasn't going to stop him.

Yesterday, he shows up in the clinic and gets his temp taken. I happen to be down there on my conference period. His temp was 104.8. Now this is such an extreme temperature, and this kid is obviously not that sick. So the nurse makes him wait 20 minutes and takes his temp again...sure enough, 97.8. He says, and I quote "Wow! That went down really fast."

Turns out he drank a whole bunch of scalding hot water right before coming down.

Why oh why can't he put those brains and creativity into just doing his work?

5 months

Yesterday was Harper's 5 month birthday. She had very few naps at daycare, so she was too tired to do pictures last night, so we did them today.

Here is what she's been up to during her 5th month of life.

*Hanging out in her exercauser

*Starting solids. She's had rice cereal, oatmeal, green beans, and just today sweet potatoes. YUM!

*Blowing raspberries...she can really soak a onsie.

*Sitting like a champ...I always thought babies rolled before sitting. Harper has zero interest in rolling but sits up for 15-20 minutes at a time with only a little support from me.

*Getting straight into the bath...since she's becoming such a master sitter, she's gotten to start bathing right in the tub instead of her bath seat. She loves splashing around, although I tend to get a lot wetter

Joe and I were commenting tonight about how lucky we are. In the three hours from when we get home until when she went to bed, she didn't cry once. She just played, ate dinner with us and had a blast hanging out. I love spending time with her and watching her develop into a little human being.

There's about to be a what?

GIRL FIGHT!

Saturday night, Joe and I could hear voices coming through Harper's monitor. We knew her window was open, so we figured the neighbors must be talking really loudly. So we went up to investigate. What we saw were some women outside the section 8 housing in the alley behind us having a huge screaming match. Naturally, we watched from our kitchen window. Here are some gems...

"I'm trying to spread wisdom and knowledge to b!tches"

"A higher power is testing me right now."

"B!thces respect me!"

"When I'm a millionaire in 5 years, you'll be sorry."

"We're not in the 1950's anymore...b!tches are liberated."

"You think I won't fight you just cause you big?"

And my personal favorite coming from a woman sitting on the stoop of her government funded housing...
"I take care of my business...you don't see no one coming in here paying my bills."

The best part was when I looked up at a house on the next street and could see the shadow of the people in the upstairs window getting just as much enjoyment out of the argument as we were.

I love living in a diverse neighborhood.

5 People I hate....

Hopefully you're not one of them!

#5) The idiots who see a long line of cars on a merge lane, so blow past in the next lane and then squeeze in at the last second.

You're the reason this long line of cars is here, Dumba$$.

#4) The Post Master General...

or whoever decides that I need junk mail delivered to my house 6 days a week, but on the Tuesday after Labor Day, only has one person working the counter at the post office from 4-5. It appears to be a mismanagement of funds when you pay someone to do useless work all week, but won't pay someone to help with the line of 15 people picking up packages and mailing things after work.

#3) The jerk who manages to get to the corner coffee shop before me and orders the one and only asiago cheese bagel.

The one thing I look forward to when I have to get up at 6:30 a.m. on a Sunday with Harper is going for coffee and an asiago cheese bagel when Joe wakes up. When I walk in and see that damn guy already at the counter...I just want to punch someone.

#2) Monica Day.

I know this is a very specific person...she's the person who does the traffic reports on the morning NBC news show I watch. Talk about wanting to stab yourself in the eye first thing in the morning. I hate how surprised she is that there's no traffic at 4:45 in the morning. I hate how she tries to be "cool" as she jokes around with the other newscasters. When she filled in for the usual lady who was on maternity leave, I almost quit watching.

And the number one group of people I hate....

#1) Joggers who get to a stop light and jog in place to "keep their heart rate up."

You look like an idiot high stepping it at the corner of a major intersection. The 30 seconds of standing in place while the light changes is not going to ruin your work out. When I see someone doing their stationary running, I get this mental image of myself tripping them when they begin moving and them splaying out in the middle of the road. It's cruel, I know, but it just really annoys me.

Hopefully my hatred for this group of people doesn't land me on your 5 people you hate list.