Today's Biggest B*tch award goes to...

Me. I was at Joe's hockey game tonight and made a complete fool out of myself. Here's the story:
Me: See that guy out there, his girlfriend is pregnant.
Other Hockey Wife: I think it's his fiance now. They got engaged soon after they found out she was pregnant.
Me: Yeah we were at dinner a couple weekends ago after a game and Joe introduced me to him as his "baby mama" which I hate. That guy said, "yeah, I have one of those. My girlfriend is pregnant." After dinner I told Joe, "That's why I don't like when you call me that. He has a baby mama, you have a pregnant wife. We meant to have this baby and they didn't."

On it's own, this conversation is not so bad. About 15 minutes into the game however, we find out that the girl sitting in the next section over is...you guessed it...that guy's fiance. I'm sure she heard the whole thing where I called her his baby mama and how that was insulting to me.

I was completely embarrassed. I guess my spot in hell is getting a little hotter.

Random Issues with food

~The other day I put my microwave lunch in to cook at work, sat down and ate the rest of my lunch then wondered why the hell I was still hungry. I was seriously starving and began to calculate if I had time to run to McDonalds to grab more food. 15 minutes later, a co-worker asked me if my ravioli was in the microwave...well now wonder I was starving, I left the main part of my meal uneaten
~I sat down with a package of Oreos the other night and within about 30 seconds I had eaten 5. The math teacher in me figured at this pace I could eat the whole package in about 6 minutes. I wonder if that is a Guinness world record.
~This morning I poured a bowl of cereal and sat down at my desk to eat. I keep mil in my mini fridge for occasions when I'm running late and don't have time to eat before leaving for work. I ate about three bites before I realized I had not in fact poured milk on my cereal and was eating dry frosted flakes.
~Yesterday I was so desperate for something besides water to drink that I did one of the things I despise the most...I stood at my refrigerator with the door open and drank orange juice straight from the carton. As I wiped my orange mustache away, I felt like I had hit a new low in life.

Of all the things I thought might happen during pregnancy, I never imagined I'd have this many issues with food.

Isn't it Ironic...

Last night I was following a mom and her (about) six year old daughter to the restroom. Along the way, the mom was explaining why it wasn't really appropriate for the girl to go to the restroom with her dad. While having this important conversation about the difference between men and women, the Mom was obliviously walking into the men's restroom. If I hadn't warned her with a quick "Ma'am..that's the men's room" her daughter would have gotten a first hand visual lesson of what her mom was telling her. The look on the Mom's face was priceless...

I'm So Happy...

I received the Happy 101 blog award from Amy - The Mistress of Oxford.

Of course there are rules. The first (post 10 things that make me happy) I will happily oblige. The second (nominate 10 blogs I enjoy) I will not...I always have a hard time with these do to having so few blogs that I actually follow. (I need to drum up some business....share your ideas on how to do this.)
Now...on to 10 things that make me happy. (in no particular order)
1. My ridiculous husband...always making me laugh.
2. Chocolate...especially now that I'm pregnant.

3. Trashy T.V. with HOT guys

4. Traveling.

5. Seeing my baby's ultrasound pics on the fridge.
6. My best friend.

8. Beer.

9. Football.
10. My cats.

And now for the blogs I can't live without.

Brooke's Bits...a new blog that keeps me updated on celebrity gossip

Sweet Sassy and oh So Classy..a fellow teacher who cracks me up with insight on life

The Juice is Worth the Squeeze...what better way to keep up with the day to day of your BFF when she moves away.

Thanks Amy!

My Valentine!

We had a great weekend. It seems like we're trying to take advantage of our last free moments as a couple before baby makes three.

When I came home from yoga Saturday morning, these were waiting for me on the table.

Giant Eagle had a special where you could get two steaks and two lobster tails for $25, so I put on my big girl pants and cooked lobster for the first time. It turned out delicious.

(yes, that is a small glass of red wine for me....it was soooooo good)

I went to the bakery where we go our wedding cake, seriously the best cake I've ever eaten, to get Joe his present.

Then I made him take me to see Valentine's Day. It was okay, not as good as I hoped, but that's to be expected when it had so much hype.

All in all a great weekend! Happy V-Day to you all.

Looking into the crystal ball

There's this website called Madame Zaristka that asks you some really asinine questions and then predicts your birth experience. Based on my answer, here's what I have to look forward to...

The day you deliver, outside will be shiny. Your baby will arrive in the late afternoon. After a labor lasting approximately 17 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 5 pounds, 9 ounces, and will be 17-1/2 inches long. This child will have dark amber eyes and a lot of black hair.

Two questions:
1) If my baby weighs less than six pounds, why the hell have I gained 30?
2) Where do the amber eyes come from? Dark hair I can see...amber eyes might make the husband think I strayed while in Monte Carlo.

We'll see if Madame Zaristka's prediction comes true in about 9 weeks.

Bump Day - Week 31

I can't believe I don't have stretch marks yet...I feel like I'm stretched to capacity. Hopefully I can avoid those "lovely" reminders of my current hippo size.

The Baby

You baby weighs between 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 pounds. She continues to gain weight at a faster pace than she lengthens, which will give her those cute chubby cheeks. She's about fourteen to sixteen inches tall, although individual growth rates vary. Your baby begins to run out of room as she puts on weight. You should feel about ten kicks an hour.

The Mommy - In Theory

By now your sleep is likely compromised, big-time: You probably need to go to the bathroom several times a night and you're also having trouble sleeping because there isn't a comfortable position that works. The "nesting" instinct is likely to kick in soon, if it hasn't already, as you attempt to get everything done while you still can, from tying up loose ends at work and reorganizing closets to baking cookies and sorting socks. Take advantage of your pregnant form and get others to pitch in.

The Mommy - For Real

Definitely feeling the sleep thing. The baby protests if I sleep a certain way, waking me up and forcing me to roll over. So demanding already!

I was going through a bunch of clothes a cousin gave to me. We don't know the gender, but she has both, so she gave us a buttload of clothes for both leaving me to sort through what I will use and what I won't. So I was pulling out all the 0-3 month boy clothes so I could wash them...I am in utter awe that in nine weeks I will have a person so little that it will fit into these

The socks alone...I think they would be too small for my cats. I'm getting really excited.

Snow Day

As I sat at my computer this morning deciding if I wanted to take a sick day due to the random cold I have (damn you dirty eighth graders) I heard the most beautiful sound...my cell phone ringing. I was granted a snow day, so decision made...back to bed with me. After resting and drinking lots of caffeine free tea, I am feeling a little better. Better enough to brave 10 minutes with my hubs in the snow. Here's our LAME creation.

We finished the installation of the vanity this weekend. So aside from a

mirror, light ficture and base board, the bathroom is done. I will post pics once we get those things so you can all see the total transformation.

Parenting FAIL

What do you think?

Bathroom Remodel...Part 2

So far our plan to get the bathroom done is working out really well. We layed the tile on Saturday...what I mean is I layed it while Joe made the cuts we needed. Let's just say that pregnancy plus laying tile equals stiff muscles for days. But it will be worth it when the bathroom is done. Here are a few pics of the floor. It's still a little grimy from the grout. Joe is prepped and ready to paint tomorrow, which I am so stoked about. Come Sunday, I should have some great pics to share.