Parenting 101

In college and grad school I had to take A LOT of classes...most of them I don't use the information, but some of them still come in handy. One class that was no wear in the course registrar listings was how to deal with parents at parent teacher conferences. I could really use some tips on some tactful ways to say the following things:
*your kid is lazy as hell
*you enable your child to be lazy by defending his laziness
*you shouldn't believe your child when they tell you they finished their homework already...your kid is a liar.
*If your kid is failing, it is not my fault, it's mostly your kid's but also yours.
*You need to give your kid consequences for not doing what they're supposed to...otherwise how will they learn.
*Just because your kid has always gotten an A and now isn't doesn't make me a bad teacher. They need to work harder to get an A in my class, deal with it.

The bonus to all of this is I am learning many things about being my parent myself. I already have a growing list of things that I will not do or allow my kid to do:
1. Don't believe the kid when they say the teacher said or did something...it's probably a lie.
2. Don't give my 13 year-old a cell phone.
3. Don't be more of a Friend to my child than a parent.
4. Don't let my kid stay home for two periods cause they don't want to go to one class, but make sure they get there in time that they can still play their football game that night.

I'm sure there will be many more, but that's all I can think of at this time. For all you parents, or wanna be parents, what things are on your list?