One of the very first blogs I started following, How to Survive Life in the Suburbs, is having a monthly rant that I just knew was made for me. Stephanie makes me laugh all the time, but her passive aggressive letters are the best. Thought I'd join in on the fun.
Dear Wrapping Paper,
Why can't you all be made with the grids on the back. Although I am a math teacher, my ability to cut in a straight line is severely lacking, so the additional help is quite a sanity saver. The OCD in me hates when the paper is crooked.
Thanks!
Designated Present Wrapper
Dear Crazy Parent,
I know that you have the best intentions when wanting your child to sing in the 2-3 year old concert at the daycare our lovely children both attend. The rest of us, however would love to be able to hear our darlings singing instead of the screaming/crying your child is doing. They obviously do not want to participate in this adorable performance. Is it so important that you make them? I'm sure they will grow up to be well-rounded and well-adjusted even if they didn't get to sing Jingle Bells at their Tiny Tots concert. Plus, my blackmail video for Harper's further dating life is now garbled by the background noise of an unhappy kid. Maybe hold off til next year....
Signed,
Trying to be laid back Mom
Dear Christmas Cookies,
Is there anyway you could be less delicious so I wouldn't want to scarf you every night. Or maybe keep your delicious factor, but somehow have the caloric content of celery. I'd really like to take a day off of running, but you just seem to keep finding your way to my mid-section.
Signed,
Christmas Cookie Monster.
Have any Christmas themed rants? Join In!
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3 comments:
When I realized my son is not made for singing, I quit hoping for a place in their yearly musical. Although, Im thinking I should enrol him in voice lessons. I think it would help him to at least, be in correct tone/note.
I saw your blog from Stephanie's.
Merry Christmas!
Pearl
Bwhaha
First! Thank you so much for the kind words about my blog and for joining my linky!!
I ADORE your letters. My fae, hard to choose, but the one I FEEL the most is the little dreaded singer:) Oh how I wish some parents would understand their babes just were not meant for the stage! :)
Happy Holidays!
Dear Macaulay Culkin,
Could you go back in time and not make those horrific Home Alone movies? Although I'm sure they made you insanely rich, they are a low point of human civilization next to disco music and Jersey Shore. Every Christmas one of these awful movies is playing constantly on basic cable and my wife stops to watch your crazy antics while I try desperatly not to projectile vomit over the absurd stupidity of said antics. I HATE your movies... well, hate is a pretty strong word. Let's just say that your movies are so bad they make me want to punch puppies in the face.
Signed,
Stupid Movie Hostage
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